1, 2, 3, 4 Hi 5!

This is super fucking unbelievable. I can't help but to blame myself for the things that came out of proportion. Though I tried my best not to think about it, I can't help but to ask myself why the fuck am I thinking of hurting myself! I'm not suicidal but sometime, I think it would be best if I will just kill me and leave everything behind and let all the motherfucking shit load of problems die with the wind.

There is no easy way in saying goodbye because no watter what you do, nothing will ever change!

Never in my life have I thought to slashing my wrist nor hang myself to death. I may look like the biggest shit made in history of history but still, I know how to feel and how to be emo (fuck, ask google how). Have you ever felt your blood running through your veins up to your head? Or your blood to be as cold as chilled water? Well that was what I felt awhile ago. A lot of things burst out of my head and it felt like hell. It was as if you want to do something but you just can't because nothing was left inside and your hands were trembling very badly?

Good thing I have friends here who never failed to read (listen to) my sentiments. They were able to salvage another soul from descending deep down in hell. But guess what, I deleted my blog and posted my final entry there to say goodbye to my blogger friends (I kept this one on my list by the way). I deleted all my friends in facebook and made myself private in that site so my name will no longer be visible in any search engines.

Don't want to go chipping [from the root word, CHIP(s)] around, I think I'm feeling better now (no, I suddenly realize ending my life would just lead to another mistake - even Papa Jesus will agree on that) and hopefully, i'll get even better as days go by.

Tang ina, so these are all the shits that you have to go through before your birthday?

Puta, I have plenty of things to fix this time plus an application that I have to accomplish before Wednesday to catch up the deadline for submission of graduation application.

Why the fuck do I need to do this?

I wanna know what Love is...

For those who don't know, love is...

LOVE is SEX. Why? Because when you touch, you feel love; when you kiss, you taste love; when you sniff, you smell love; when you are naked, you see love; and when you do it, you make love.

- Motto ng Malilibog

ROMANTIC LOVE and TRUE LOVE make a big difference. One it true and their other is true but it something isolated only Papa Jesus knows why it is so.

ROMANTIC LOVE is something we all need because we are all humans, we live it to survive and propagate like thecursor.com. You configure it, find ways on how to make it work and then it propagates like it never did before. When you succeed, then you will be able to access your domain. It is something that drowns us to do something greater and better everyday; it gives us the freedom to be happy in every steps that we make, it gives us the courage to continue living and most of all, it gives us the strength to face our problems. It also gives as reasons to smile, it gives us something to look forward to, it gives us fun and happiness; it gives us pain and suffering if not made well, it gives us problems - sometimes inconveniences, it gives us tears, it gives us laughter, it gives us all the things we need to live like a human being and at the same time, it also gives us the same thing that destroys us - but once surpassed, builds us into someone better than before like we never did before. Romantic love makes us a real person - someone who can feel, taste, smell and see the happiness and pain around us.

TRUE LOVE on the other hand is something that I've recently realized as the HIGHEST FORM of INFATUATION because when you know that it is true love, the only thing that goes into your mind is to make that person happy even if it means destroying your life just to make sure you give him/her what you think will make them happy.

TRUE LOVE is the highest form of infatuation because when you touch, you don't feel LIBOG; when you kiss, umasa ka na lang ng bonggang bongga dahil hindi mo maiisip na halikan sya; when you sniff, hindi mo talaga maiisip yun tol; when you are naked; ulol asa ka naman na gagawin mo yun diba, wala ngang malice na nararamdaman diba? And when you do it, of course you will never ever do it.

- Motto ng Martir

When you feel it, it is already enough that you see him/her on pictures, it is already enough to see her smile even if it is not you the reason why he/she smiles, it is already enough that you see him/her happy even it is not you that made him/her happy. You will be contented to just seeing them around - feeling their presences and savoring with it until you had enough. Kulang na lang patigilin ang mundo para sa kanila. As in you will do everything to make them happy and safe even if it is not you who is doing it. In short, if they are happy, you are happy; if they are sad, you are sad also. Meaning, you are just recreating a 3D version of their shadows. And mind you, it is not the fun and happiness that you are looking for. It is a fantasy without the real essence of fantasy. It is a dream without dreaming. It is a story without elements. It is a song without a tune. It is tinolang manok without the chicken. It is iced tea without the ice. It is life without the letters that spells it. It is happiness without the smile. It is treasure without the value. It is just merely a postcard which only serves as something that will remind you that somewhere deep within you, you've been tested by God to know if you really are ready and worthy of experiencing the REAL THING!

PAIN. SUFFERING. FUN. HAPPINESS. JOY. HEARTACHES. TRIUMPHS. DEFEAT. VICTORY. DOWNFALL. BLISSFULNESS. AND ALL THAT JAZZ AND SHITS.

So the hell with true love? Only bitches and assholes are worthy of it - and for us; we are all humans to let us all find the right person that will make us happy. . . :-)